|
cover me in your blanket of stars
|
|
|
| heyyyy it's me |
[Nov. 9th, 2004|02:47 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  silly | ] |
| [ | music |
| | gretchen wilson-here for the party | ] |
wow it's been super long since i updated. i've just been so busy. i bet like everyone deleted me off their friends list and buddy lists. i feel like i fell off the face of the earth. but i didn't! i'm coming home to VA this weekend uh oh. so whoever wants to hang out i'm down. i already promised krystle and kirstin a sleepover and i have to chill with ashley. and everyone! i've made cool friends down here, my house is like the party house sometimes it's a little too fun. many crazy stories. i've mellowed out a lot though. but i miss the shit out of my friends and everyone soooo much life aint the same without yall. i'm doin good in school except i have like a 71 in chemistry. i get to graduate next january yay! cheerleading's really fun, even though currituck won no football games the whole season. haha we suck. ahh i have so much more to write about but i have to drive to the dump and drop off our trash since here we don't have the luxury of you city people and have trash men come to our houses. ewy it's gross. and then i have to pick up my little sister from school. but i loveeee everyone! (cell) 757 692-1080 (home) 252 232-2985
<3 kel |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 19th, 2004|04:23 pm] |
so i now reside in currituck, north carolina. i miss virginia beach and all my friends and stuff. i was really upset at first, but i know this is the thing that will make me happiest.
my mom is cool as shit. the beaches are awesome. i have a new puppy. and i've been dating this guy for a month on tuesday who im absolutely falling for.
the house is kinda crazy with everyone though. my step-dad is kind of an asshole and kicked me out a few times, but i kiss ass to him cuz i need a place to live. you can be emancipated in north carolina when you're 16 without your parents approval. i think im checking into that more after court next month. my boyfriend has a massive settlement money coming in so he's buying a house and i might stay with him until i figure out things.
i don't really have friends here yet, but hopefully that will change when school starts. i looked at the graduating requirements and the schools down here are easier. i'm like the most retarded person but i have enough requirements to graduate this year, which i think i'm doing.
it feels weird though. my dad and i have never really had a relationship, but he looked so hurt in court it made me feel like shit. it's like i don't know what to do cuz it kills me that he's all alone now. like everything happened way too fast i couldn't really have a reaction to it. i just picked up and left a whole life behind. i guess you have to do that someday though. i'll get used to it.
i really miss my friends so much. hopefully someone will come down soon to see me!! that would be so much fucking more fun that driving to the beach by myself. and i come down every too weeks so you bitches better call me. haha well anyways im out. nothing too much more exciting to say. <3 |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[May. 31st, 2004|09:48 am] |
i hate the end of things. all things end, and that sucks.
one more month until another ending occurs.
well right after school ends, really.
i'll be going to court. and hopefully end up moving to north carolina for good.
but let's not mention it yet.
anyways this weekend turned out to be pretty awesome. i guess i just missed a lot of people and things way too much. some things i realized made me upset but i'm not going into detail. yeah but i had a lot of fun.
and i get my lisence in 10 days uh oh.
thanks for caring,
thanks for the fake smiles
and thanks for acting like you hate me.
you don't have to go out of
your way for me anymore.
this is me being sarcastic.
5463472354 |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Apr. 14th, 2004|01:20 am] |
i feel like someone is doing jumping jacks on my heart.
i hate boys. so terribly much. remind me to never like one of them EVER again.
note: the next time you have a thing with someone, you should tell that person you don't like them anymore BEFORE you get back with your ex girlfriend.
wtf i dont even know why im mad.
im gay. really.
well tonight was fun at francis's. and i had fun losing in padiddle in garretts car. i guess. and at ashley's for our little sleepover.
there's so much that needs to be done. there's so many things i need to do better but i dont even know how. and i dont know why im complaining cuz so many people have it worse than me. im so selfish. im stopping. right now. |
|
|
| the more you change the less you feel |
[Mar. 27th, 2004|10:22 pm] |
There is so much going through my mind right now. Overwhelming. I'm so stressed, but I have a careless attitude.
I want to change that about me too. I want to stop doing all the normal things I do and try something new. But then again who am I? I've been trying to think.
I dont know.. Music is a big thing. I wish my life was like a movie, with all the right music playing at all the right times. Particularly an old romantic, black and white movie. I'm a hopeless romanatic. Im such a dreamer. I'm pretty outspoken with my feelings and thoughts. I laugh and I cry and I'm genuine. I don't hide things on purpose, unless it's something that scares me. I'm often scared of rejection.
Does that make me a wimp?
I drink my milk with ice cubes. I love to draw and write and think and do the secretive unthinkable. Writing is one of my passions along with everything else I lay my eyes on. Old men hit on me. It's alright. My dad tries to shelter me because he was a whore in highschool. I love my mom to death. I love to read. Simple words on a page can bring you so much to your life. I'm not 18. It's a shame, but I'm young and 16, yet I should be older. Dont you agree?
I sometimes lie and steal..
Please help me become a better person. Dont judge people on what they wear. Dont call people Freaks. Look at things with a curious mind rather than a narrow one.
I'm weird. Goodnight. |
|
|
| hold your faith in the palm of your hand sometimes the only person you have is yourself. |
[Mar. 27th, 2004|08:04 pm] |
i just want to get out of here so utterly bad, just to get away. there isn't any significant reason, but i just need to escape to somewhere. vacation is soon. praise for that.
[[[well last friday i went over krystles. mal came over and andrea picked us all up for burger king the fc soccer game. hung out with a few kids there. then followed people to cameron quinns but we didnt stay so we stopped by blakes. steve picked me up there and we hung out at his house with lots of people then i slept over.
saturday just hung out and steve dropped me home. babysat. sunday i went to tiff's pagent where she got miss teen vb :)]]]
and week days have been going by so slow..
[[[last night went to garretts show and hung out. kevin and some other kid drove me and ashley to drop off zach's drums then we went to trey's little party thing. got to watch the drunk people then dipped to ashley's for a sleepover.
today i got home and then went to kyle's and played pool and watched finding nemo. and now im babysitting for seven hours. i better get good money. i need to go shopping again.
fieldhockey starts tomorrow so im kinda excited.
oh yes and.. i have a job as a hostess at ynot pizza.]]]
fuck my computer and not being able to let me on the internet. it likes to take it up the ass and freeze when i try to use it. maybe it's just shy.
but until it gets better, no posts.
im going through withdrawals.
i bought a black corset today.
i'm not working as much.
i haven't showered in two days,
and i love you all. |
|
|
| no mona 1isa:youve got one thumb up your ass & one in your mouth waiting for someone to yell SWITCH! |
[Mar. 13th, 2004|09:28 am] |
my birthday last weekend was good. krys, mal, tiff, liz, jess, and i went out to guadalajara. and these weird drunk men sang me happy birthday. then we just went back to my house. becca and laura came over too. mm missed my girls. especially bec. and then jason and two of his friends came over. and we had a sleepover it was fun. and i got to make everyone chocolate chip panacakes!
this week went by fast. nothing really exciting. i drove my aunts car into a ditch. sucks im getting my license in less than 3 months. hm im going to cheerleading on tuesdays now, i love those girls. and hopefully i should start open gym at spirit soon. im excited its been forever since ive been back there. then fieldhockey is coming up. and i need a job soo bad. my sister came over thursday. and i was playing with little gabby and she threw up in my face hah. i love babies.
yesterday i went tanning and drove to krystle's. tiff, michelle carmines, and julee harlow came over. went around with alex and got shakes and stuff. ran into matt simeone, brenton, and lb. and ofcorse i had to buy people food.
im going to macarthur to blow my 250 bucks from my birthday yessss. maybe getting my hair done. then hopefully hangin out with steve tonight :)
im going to miss lindsey soo much i want to hang out with her before she moves.
and i want spring breakkk! |
|
|
| girls night in |
[Feb. 29th, 2004|01:03 am] |
it's so rewarding to have those once in a while.
well this morning i woke up early and went on a run. i think i'm gonna do that every morning from now on cuz it makes me feel so alive and pumped for the day. then i drove for a while. and picked up liz. then went to ashleys.
we just hung out. went to d.q. and rented a bunch of movies. i recieved a lot of random phone calls which always brighten my night hah. then got to hang out with jason and his friends for a while which was good.
so my birthday is next weekend finally. eh sweet sixteen is so overrated. yeah i'm excited though. i don't know what i want to do for it yet, but i really need to start making some decisions. maybe the same thing i did last year. or maybe something big. any ideas?
it sucks liking someone so much and wanting to do nearly anything to make it happen. and having to carry it around inside of you all the time, wherever you are. and being so confused and not being in control of it. fjkhkjfgh i need to do something to clear my head. |
|
|
| blah blah |
[Feb. 22nd, 2004|12:26 pm] |
i've found that the longer i go without being online the better it is. i prevents a lot of stuf. but whatever.
anyways haven't updated in a long time soo..
last thursday- scott picked me up and we went to wendys and stuff and just hung out a while it was good hangin out with him again.
friday night- steve picked me up and we went to his house, then aarons, then jose's party and that was fun cuz i got to see a lot of people. we stayed there a while and then i went back to steve's and slept over.
saturday- just hung out with steve a bit then i went home. screw valentines day. it wasn't that bad though. atleast i spent it with someone kinda. and atleast i feel that feeling. but it's so scary.
sunday- steve and aaron picked me up and we went to their friends houses and stuff. then it snowed!
the whole week last week i was sick. i got pink eye in both eyes, then the flu, and i might have to get my tonsils out ah.
anyways ever since i had to get a psychiatrist i've been thinking a lot more about things. kinda stupid but yeah. i really need to change a lot of my values. i'm just confused right now, but i'm sure i'll get it right. i think it's kinda funny how she said that my family needed her counseling more than me. that's why i can't wait to live with my mom i love her more than anyone in the world. i wish i had my license now so i could just get out and drive forever. i get my car in 2 weeks though:)
hm yeah so friday night- i went over krystle's and hung out with her, alex, and fathead for a bit and drove around. we went to leigh's house and hung out with her, gabby, and lexi for a while. then laura brinn came to krystle's and we all got to have a sleepover.
saturday- we walked to wendys and stuff. kinda just chilled. my aunt picked us up and took us out haha. i love my aunt so much. i didn't think it'd be that fun, but yeah it was. so we ended up staying the night here.
today- krystle and i are at my aunts home alone for a while. won't be home till later, but it turns out being just a chill out day. i'm gonna make some food for krystle and i so i'm out.
<3 |
|
|
| alife lesstakenx: hey look at you, little miss sarcastic fuck |
[Jan. 25th, 2004|11:32 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  high | ] |
| [ | music |
| | disco don dancing hampster | ] |
after i left laura's yesterday i went home and then her and krystle picked me up two hours later and we went to britt's house. and they locked me out of the house twice and i fell for it both times cuz i'm dumb. chilled there and got ready and then went to the show. watched for a bit, but it was too cold so everyone huddled in roger's car. lindsey's mom picked us up and we took lindsey to cheerleading and us to krystle's and in the car we had good sex and drugs talks with her momma haha she's so funny. britt left and then krystle and i ate and stuff. and everyone joked me because i don't have a butt anymore and it used to be big, but no one knows where it went or what happened to it. i guess it just fell off one day.
andrea, fathead, and alex came over and we hung out for a bit then dropped andrea off at pat's and on the way to pick up gabby and lexi i got out and ran to work off the food. we went back to krystle's and tried to watch big fish cuz cole went to ny and got it, but we ended up not finishing it and just talking and stuff it was fun. we went taco bell and dropped gabby and lexi back at gabby's house and picked up andrea from pat's. took some pictures. i peed in lucky's litter box. and krystle, andrea and i had a sleepover yay.
NEVER come to krystle's house EVER because whenever you leave i guarentee you will be 20 pounds heavier. for example since late last night until now when i just woke up, i've had.. chicken wings, tater tots, bread and butter, pizza, nachos and cheese, icecream, banana split sundaes, ding dongs, reesces, speghetti, speghettios, bacon, bagels, soup, grilled cheese, crackers, peanutbutter crackers, airheads, cookies, fritos, etc. i could never become anorexic.
i love my life because i'm the child that no one cares about and everyone wants to get rid of. i've had three sleepovers in a row this weekend and i had three in a row last weekend and the other weekend before that all at different houses. my dad doesn't even care because he's too lazy to come pick me up and he likes the house to his self haha. but i guess it has it's advantages.
i think i'm goin over mal's today to work on world history homework.
ahh i hope it snows a lot because i don't feel like studying for exams.
pssh <3 |
|
|
| happy green boy |
[Jan. 24th, 2004|12:28 am] |
|
last night wne to target with jess and her mom. her mom bought me these such cute boots i love her. then we tried on bathing suits and uhh all i can say is that i definately need to go to track everyday next week. we're turning anorexic haha. i really hope south carolina plans work out again this year for spring break that would be so lovely. anyways chris picked jess and me up and we stopped by my house then subway and 17th street. even though i'm a bulldog, i still think chris is sweet. i stayed the night at jess's house and only got like 3 hours sleep and we did eachother's homework. dawn picked us up because she rules and we went to 711 then school. school dragged on forever, too many exam reviews. and tests. and perverted boys in world history haha. went home with the lovely mal this afternoon with liz and tiff then krystle came over hurray. i feel like i haven't been as close with some friends as i used to be and i need to work on that more i'm sorry. blah today was weird. it kinda had it's ups and downs, but i'm trying to keep the downs as far away from my mind as possible. people confuse me so much i've just given up. it frusterates me how you think someone is so much more different than the person that you really get to know later on that they are, if that makes sense. but i guess we can all be like that at times. maybe certain personalities are just too different, neither of them a bad different, but just an extreeme different that they were never meant to connect in any way at all. who knows for sure. and the people that you always expected to be bad people you find out they aren't at all. life is weird like that and i don't think any of us have control over it at times, but it's kind of exciting once you get past everything. oh and lindsey just to let you know, you really are an awesome girl. anyway mal dropped me off at laura's with britt and we went to jade garden. that trip was pretty unique. you'll meet the weirdest people if you ever hang out with britt. chinese people bitched us out haha. it's good hangin out with those girls though. jess sang to me and it made my day yay. later sean picked la, britt, and me up tonight and we went to his house to watch part of the ring, which i'm weird cuz i'm like the only one who's never seen it. he drove us back to laura's and hmm pretty much calling it a night. i hope i decide something fun to do tomorrow, i'm not quite sure what i want to do yet though. yeah but now i'm going to bed with laura. she's the bestest ever. <3 |
|
|
| fjkghlfjk |
[Jan. 22nd, 2004|04:47 pm] |
so i got to go to the hospital to see my sister's baby last night. she's sooo beautiful. she has blue eyes and brown hair and she's kinda tan complected. it's amazing holding something that little in your hands.
today was ok. i stayed after school to make up a bio test. jess's mom picked me up and i hung out with her and jess's little sister at her talent show auditions at trantwood. now i'm just waiting for jess to get back from softball.
k el bel0307: what are you dioin
mal like WHOA: your homeowkr haha
man i love my friends.
call me up if anyone wants to do something this weekend.
<3 |
|
|
| so what do i do now |
[Jan. 18th, 2004|11:15 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | south park | ] |
so today i got home from liz's and went to kaitlin's. kirstan came over and we went to clean offices with kaitlin's mom. courtney came over for a little bit to drop off the collage book thing she made in memory of kristen. it was so sweet.
kaitlin and i kept talking about and catching up on all the memories we've had together and it made me miss everything. i love her so much and i miss being best friends. sometimes i can't handle it when her parent's cry because i just feel so awful, but i'm glad to see that them and kaitlin are doing a little better. it's weird being here without hanging out with kristen. weird. anyways this should be a good sleepover.
on another note, i can't stop thinking about how much i hate it when people get into my life so much. i wish people would just let me live my life the way i want to. when people are always on my case about things it makes me want to rebel more and do the things i'm "not supposed to" because it makes me mad to know that people single me out and expect me to live a certain way. sorry mom. there are way more important things in life besides always finding something to bitch about with everyone. and i'm over caring what people think of me. seriously this is the first time i haven't cared what people think about me in my whole life. have whatever opinion you'd like to have about me. i'm young, i'm learning different things everyday, and sometimes i don't know how the fuck to act or what i'm supposed to do. i'm obviously not fit to be a role model for anyone, so i don't know why people continue to criticize and crituque my life. i know who i am, and the people that really care about me do, so fuck it, i don't feel like caring about the rest and i'm not going to.
katie, i'm so sorry. i love you and your mom i hope everything is okay. i'll pray for her tonight. try not to think about those what if's. i'm so over car accidents.
oh freaking brittany and laura are the best if you didn't already know.
k that's it. <3 you all. |
|
|
| rhgkhfgldjfk |
[Jan. 18th, 2004|09:05 am] |
last night liz picked me up and we went to laura brinn's. kyle and matt picked us up from there and we drove to chesapeake to watch this band play in a storage room. then we went over to pat spalding's later and hung out with everyone. yeah so that was a crazy night haha. kyle drove us back to liz's and we stayed the night. i woke up not knowing who's sweatshirt i was wearing but i'll give it back to whoevers it is. hm i dunno what i'm doing today. hopefully hanging out with kaitlin but who knows. alright yeahh. bye <3 |
|
|
| Blahshimmidydah: you know they have societies for people like you |
[Jan. 16th, 2004|12:58 pm] |
so my mono and strep went away. and the week back at school was good. liz and i ran from track yesterday to krystle's house. i ran on mallory's tredmill today and lost 80 calories, but then ate pizza, icecream cake, whole bag of chex mix, shakes and food from the mall tonight. i don't rememeber what else, but the point is that i can't stick to diets damnit.
tonight was eventful. liz and i went home with mal. then tiff, laura, and kasey came over. we were going to see along came polly, but it was sold out so we went to the mall. it ended up being good cuz we saw a million people and met up with jess, jamie, heather and them. got some good five finger discounts at body central though. this random drunk guy came up to me and made comments about my boobs and told security guards i was his girlfriend and we were getting married and kept trying to kiss me. so that was kind of weird haha but whatever.
my sister's due date for her baby is tomorrow. i'm beyond excited. but yeah so i had a good time having a girl's night out. the rest of this weekend will be good. i love three day weekends yesss. ok sleep bye <3 |
|
|
| who wants to be happy? |
[Dec. 30th, 2003|11:55 am] |
friends like these and weekends like this make it hard not to.
thank you
ive been hangin out with jess a lot which is always good. went out with jamie and them and then slept over jess's. hung over karina's the next night and had a sleepover there with the girls. then spent the day with sarah and jess. now im at krystle's. i think all of us are goin to the mall today so come join us. and im excited about tonight yay.
so i went to kristen's wake and funeral.
it was beautiful but painful at the same time, if that's possible.
i think it's awful that it takes a person to be gone to realize how much you loved them. kristen i loved you so much. hundreds of my tears have your name on them from thinking about all the memories. but next time i will smile when i think about them because i know that's what you would have wanted. you were always smiling. even when we got in trouble. i miss your laugh too. |
|
|
| <3 <3 <3 |
[Dec. 27th, 2003|12:53 am] |
Kristen-
You have reminded us how special we are
On this Christmas Day
We now know how precious life is
And how it can slip away
People take things for granted
In a flash they can disappear
Some of us will learn this lesson
And treasure each person throughout the year
Great Kid and hard worker
Two jobs and going to school
You were on a mission
Life can be so cruel
You left a mark, at such a young age
We can still see that smile
The fact that people loved u so much
Made your life worthwhile
Some stars glimmer, some stars glow
You were, a flash so bright
The joy you brought to all of us
Will guide us through the night
You were the happiness in your father's face
Your mother's crutch, she so needed
You gave your sister and friends someone to look up to
You were not going to be defeated
The earth needs positive people
That we all can admire
Kristen, you were here for such a short time
And yet it did inspire
Parents to love their children
Friends to be real friends
Sisters to treasure that annoying sibling
And to do whatever we can
So at this time we say no goodbyes
We shed tears and show we care
We'll all be together in the next life
So please save us a chair |
|
|
| sooooooo |
[Dec. 17th, 2003|08:19 pm] |
there’s not too too much to be said about the last few days.
tim’s. me and tim’s 3 month. lizz amador’s party. sleepover.
new people. liz’s. walks to ensenada’s/spanish club. tiff’s.
i got my bloodwork in yesterday and i have mono..again.
so i just slept and read the whole day which was good for a change.
and mono means no track for a while so that’s kind of a plus :)
if i could wish for one thing right now i wish i’d never let anyone down. i never realized that i can really be what i hate the most. and i hate that so much. but what i hate more that the most is that i never even realized that i‘m what i hate the most. make sense? well maybe i did, but not this much. and i’d hate me too if i were you. and i’m pretty sure it’s me. so it’s ok. and i’m sorry. and you know what? i just miss the all oldtimes. and i never missed that as much as i do right his second.
i kinda want to go back to school though. i know, call me crazy.
but.. i do, and the reason for it is totally dumb.
who am i kidding? hmph.
my life is such a waste.
</3 |
|
|
| OOHbaybee33: why do guys have 2 balls in one nutsac? why cant they just have one ball in each? |
[Nov. 15th, 2003|01:55 pm] |
so it's been about a month almost..
but the past few weeks have been complete bliss.
hanging out with new people. getting closer to
the ones i've been meaning to. and being with the
ones i already am. parties. late night rendez'vous.
concerts. sleepovers. adorable and memorable moments
with boyfriend and friends i'm absolutely in love with.
i've actually learned a lot of things lately which is
great. i think this year is turning out wonderful so
far. and there's no other way i'd rather spend my time.
some other memorable things that have been happening
are that i got my first x-ray and first surgery of my
whole life. so yeah that was a thrilling experience.
ah it blows that everyones birthdays are
around the same time. i feel awful and i wish i
could buy everyone everything they wanted.
money really is the biggest cancellation for
everything good in the world.
well i hope tonight turns out swell.
call my cell if you're trying to chill.
<3 |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
kellielynn's journal